Faking It

My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years and have in the past enjoyed a very healthy sex life. A few months ago, whenever sex was initiated, we would start to kiss and engage in some foreplay, but I would then become very disinterested and we would have to stop. When we would engage in intercourse, I would not experience an orgasm and would have to “fake it”. I started to believe that maybe I was not attracted physically to my boyfriend anymore and it left me very anxious. I could tell it bothered him too and it was putting serious tension in our otherwise wonderful relationship. We began to fight daily over insignificant issues.

One night, after a particularly bad argument which left us both in tears, I suggested seeing a sex therapist. Since we have started therapy, we have found out a lot about ourselves and have examined our feelings for each other. It has improved our sex life enormously. With a comfortable and honest forum to discuss our feelings, I discovered the real reason why I was having sexual problems. At the time, my sister was going through a messy divorce and custody battle; the therapist said that my seeing my sister in so much pain was subconsciously hindering my ability to trust Craig. We were astounded. I had known that I was stressed about my sister’s marital troubles, but I had no idea it was affecting me so profoundly. Not only did our sex therapist help resolve the issue at hand, but she also gave us some helpful techniques and tips to avoid other similar situations in the future.

Sara