Do
you have any particularly titillating, tantalizing
or terrifying female orgasm stories to share
with us and our readers? Have you encountered
issues concerning the female orgasm or sex,
and wish to enlighten others who may be experiencing
the same kind of problems? Males perspective
Dear Candis:
I am a 50 year old male-who has learned the secret to providing a great orgasm almost everytime- unfortuantely she comes so early that I don't, but that's another story.
"Honey, I'm home, let's screw," would get me tossed out on my ear. Instead, I start making love 24 hours before we climb into bed- by cleaning the house, preparing meals- arranging my kid's stuff including home work so my wife is well rested and relaxed and not stressed when we get into bed. I am somplimentary and considerate. Also, I am a massage master- taking great pride in my work, one massage lasted 4 hours and often my masages lead to orgasm. Lastly, I am an oral sex master, too. I keep my eyes and ears open as I give her oral sex....I listen for every little sound (was it good or not so good) and repeat the good. I watch her stomach rise and fall and watch for stomach muscles tensioning-...why?... did I do something right or wrong...again I make note of the good and do not repeat the not so good. I feel and interrupt every quiver, shudder, I listen for every breath, moan, and groan. I work to be best for her- there is so much more to oral sex than lapping away at her like a dog in a water bowl!
Frankly, I'm only okay looking at best- but I work so hard sexually. Further, I always shower first, shave very cleanly, brush my teath, pre-warm or pre-cool the room (depending on season) light candles including one scented, I work hard and get results. I trim and sand my nails, I sand my hands- sorry, no callouses during my magic massages. I trim (not shave) but trim my pubic and chest hair- I use just a hint of a nice cologne. I simply try to present what I have as best as possible and preform like a artist. To be honest, I am incredible- but only because of the work I put into pleasing her. She orgasms- everytime! In fact she even gets mad because I make her cum before we even get to intercourse. I am also a master at intercourse. I'm average in size- maybe even a bit smaller, but when you put your soul into your preformance ...it shows. I'll be in the missionary position, but up on my hands and toes with nothing touching except my penis. I use little mini strokes that only move the head in and out, maybe 1 1/2" strokes- NO OTHER CONTACT, after a couple minutes of that I go back to full plunges...the results- she cums first...I end up cumming by hand after (my own hands) while she kisses me. I haven't figured out the male O, but I've got the female one nailed- respect, service, dedication, comfort, attention to detail, little gifts occassionally, hard but pleasuarable work and lots of tender loving care.
Simply, she cums everytime because I am so great- but be clear- I am not bragging, nor am I great because I'm handsome, tall, or hung. I'm great because I react to her wants, hone my skills, practice, practice, and practice, and selflessly work my butt off to please her! I'm great because I put her needs first. Paying attention and consistantly delivering the efforts that brings her to orgasm virtually everytime makes me great!
This may be a female forum, but any comments for helping me cum???? I've about given up! :(
posted by Candis Hale @ 1:40 PM
12 Comments:
Alright everybody, let's see who can come up with some great help. I have an idea, but I want to see if someone else has any input. I'll post up my answer in one week.
--Candis
I'm dying for your response I don't want to wait a week.
The few friends I've told this to say my wife is selfish- I din't think so- at least not intentionally - maybe spoiled- but not selfish. I've just worked so hard for so long to compensate for not being so great looking etc. Like I said, I've all but given up!
candis- me again- just to be clear- I provided so many details so readers (hopefully women) wouldn't think I a typical 'hop in bed and want sex' jerk and wasn't investing enough effort to warrant cumming. I really try very hard- the harder I try the harder it seems to be to have my own orgasm- literally the ratio is probably about 50 to 1 in her favor. (unless I do it by hand- during which time she's involved and kissing me) I'm really lookin' forward to comments!
me and my husband have been together 8 years and we have a great sex life.....But i am 31 years old and do not think i have ever cumed....And my husband tries everything and i get to a point to were i fell tingly and i give up...my husband would give anything for me to get off...but i dont know how....and not sure what it feels like.....what can i do?????
Hi everyone,
Candis here! Thanks to all who replied. Here's my take:
Personally, I think you are so into HER having an orgasm that you have forgotten about yourself in the process. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great that you’re willing to go to such great lengths to please your partner, but if you’re not part of the equation, it’s all been done in vain.
It’s not terrible or wrong to have your needs met equally. If she is THAT satisfied in bed, she should want to return the pleasure. It seems to me you’ve figured out every detail but have not given enough value to your own right to pleasure. My advice to you is to consider both your needs equally. You’re exhausting yourself with pleasuring her and need to make yourself a priority at least some of the time. You may want to be the one to cum first. Maybe she can pleasure you first, rather that it always having to be about her. She may feel inadequate in the fact that she can’t seem to make you orgasm. She needs to know you are vulnerable to her…that she can take you to places no one else could. You may need to take control, maybe you’re not good with being vulnerable…and that’s something you may need to address. As for referring to yourself in the physical sense as being "ok looking at best", may indicate you have issues with your self worth. Everyone deserves to feel and experience sexual pleasure…including you. Tell yourself you deserve the pleasure and make yourself the priority as equally as you make your partner.
Hope this helps,
Candis
I identify myself in a lot of what you're saying, I put a lot of effort into providing pleasure to my partner myself, mostly because I love the feeling of providing that pleasure about as much as I enjoy living it myself.
Candis is right, the male orgasm is highly influenced by your psychological state. Once you've decided that "it's your turn", think about yourself, do what feels the most enjoyable to you in terms of speed, depth, position... You've earned it!
Most of all, don't think about how long it's taking. If you find yourself thinking that, focus your entire perception on the one most sensitive point of your body and what it is feeling at the moment.
If you're like me, you need to know that your partner is enjoying this as much as you are. She can help you by being more expressive. Speaking up about how much she's enjoying herself, but not by telling you how she wants you to come as then you'll feel the pressure to do so and lose the psychological state. Telling you not to stop, to go harder or faster, that she's close to cumming is all good.
I found that amplifying more natural response is another good way. Breathe harder, grip tighter than you would naturally be inclined to by the heat of the moment. By amplifying these responses you're doing two things:
1. Your body will react to your own stronger responses so that they become the cause of your pleasure instead of the expression of it.
2. Your partner should be encouraged by them and amplify her own.
Bring your ear close to her mouth to hear it even louder and your mouth is close to her ear so she hears it too. This may be easier to do if your partner is shy and discrete and is not too comfortable with speaking up.
When I say amplify, stay natural, we're not talking about porn-movie yelling and moaning, unless that does it for you. I like to stay within the realm of the believable.
hello,
i am a girl, but i might just be able to help you.
There is one small phrase thatz a clue to solve ur problem, u said the harder u try to be good to her in bed, the harder it gets to for u..that the clue...u r so much on to making urself good to her that u almost forget to enjoy it urself.
Try this...
decided one time its ur turn to get the best and the next time its hers. when its ur turn, dont try an inch to impress her, ask her to do all the preparation candles, play ur choice of music in the room etc and during the intercourse instead of going to the details of the storkes and touching, just stop thinking abt being good and think of the great times u had before in ur sex life ( before u were a master )...and enjoy...i am sure this will help.
Female opinions are why I posted here. Thanks! I've always viewed sex as an artistic expression of sorts- according to my female friend- guys around here are kind of jerks- they put little into sex. My efforts have always been a competitive advantage- especially since I'm not great looking, etc. It will be hard not to try so hard- but you might be right. thanks again! Feel free to add more or ask other women to- I value opinions- afgain, that's why Iposted here.
It seems that even the "successful" events depicted here are soooo wierd. "Because I am so great...." Wow! So much, regarding sexual relationships between a man and woman, has to do with words, that is, openly frank expressions, not made-up phony postulations and baby-talk! For myself, as a young man, I mean 8 or 9 years old, boys and girls played with each other....each other's parts, and we explored kissing. We all knew that we would be spanked hard if we got caught, but what fun it was anyway! But as I became more aware of my culture's taboos, regarding the opposite sex, religious fervors, etc., it became harder and harder to find REAL sexual fun with my friends. At 8, I found intercourse to be a bit boring. That was with a girl who lived down the street. I would always have to ask "is it in?" And she would tell me and I would go in and out until orgasm. I remember strong orgasms with her, but without ejaculations. That was with the little red-haired girl down the street. What she used to enjoy MOST though, was laying back and having the two of us, my male friend from next door and I, buy her a popsicle and then use each of the sticks in creative ways. She told us what to do and told us that the girl next door to her used to play with her like that and vice versa...Well, she really loved it and would show up in the middle of our boy stuff... "army men" games or ballgames or whatever, and demand it. That was real female sexuality at work! I don't remember stopping our ballgames to do it though....But, my point is this: As we grow older and prone to follow cultural regulations, religious propaganda, parent's twisted controls, we lose our ability to really touch one another. That is my belief.....The antidote? ONLY thru honest communication, words spoken without hesitation, desires and demands, that lead to open relations, great orgasms, fun sex for both partners and fullfillment between men and women. The trick is to stop thinking about yourself, but don't think like a slave about your partner either. Focus on TWO not ONE. If you cater to them, they will lose respect for you and move on to a partner who does not...Women sense sincerity, and hate sappy men, whereas men don't care about anything but the act of sex and successfully achieving whatever they fantasize...Wrong tact for women! Instead, help your woman, show her your REAL affection and your love but also your anger when appropriate. Then you'll be on your way to a real, intense and fullfilling relationship! Until you reach that level, its all play-acting filled with frustration. Oh, and I almost forgot....Size DOES matter....That's what the little red-haired girl said.
"because I am so great" wasn't meant as a brag, but as an indication that working hard to please yields great results- sorry if my wording sounded..well bragging~ not my intent!
Thinking about two instead of one sounds like a good compromising idea- thx.
I dont know if you still want comments or not....
My wife and I are both Military, so seeing each other is, well, a gift in itself. Infact, I get to see her in less that 4 days, and the first time in almost 3 months.
But back to the topic. I am one of those guys who cums quickly, usually after only about 5 minutes. Thankfully, I have learned to control it in the sense that, I can stay hard afterwards, and still bring her to an orgasm. Honestly, I wish I was more like you, and I now intend to be. I want to bring her to the best orgasm I can by the end of our next 10 days together...any ideas?
As for you though, I think you are putting so much into her that you are not focusing on yourself at all until after she orgasms. Try having her do things too. Ask her to squeeze you with her thighs, and her vaginal walls. Tweak your position to provide more rubbing sensation on the head of your penis. Also, try willing yourself to orgasm. I know it sounds weird, but try. Let me know if it helps.
if u are interested in orgasm, no doubt u can do it by urself or asking for your wife's help.
if u are interested in MUTUAL ORGASM. then practice and communication make success. learn when she is going to reach orgasm. then slowdown and caress slowly then when she cooled down, then continue with intercourse(this process adapted and modified somewhere in this forum) and repeat the process, until u feel to cum and of course, hold it(assuming that u orgasm when ejaculate) pending her orgasm, and when u see the symptom or orgasms posture, usually looking rigid or somehow going to look painful or a look of hardly notice surrounding besides being pleasure, then feel free to release with your wife. of course if she have long orgasm, u might as well build it up to that instant and let her orgasm 1st and u release yours.. if yours were longer, then as aforementioned, learn her climax and practise it. suggest to have oral sex or masturbate to the extend almost ejaculate and let it cool down and continue with actual sex (foreplay, intercourse , etc) since u will be likely to orgasm in few strokes after u hold an orgasm. (hard to explain, hopefull u get it).. anyway enjoy..
to -> candice
great website, it assists an asian like me to get equipped with knowledge to pleasure my precious partner. as for your main website purpose, i found it that moodless really cancel out orgasm, and praising at appropriate amount can increate the rate of orgasm, especially if able to make a female flush happily [a sign for a pleasure night ;-)] before any sexual activity.
if any of my language disturbed anyone reading or the webmaster. I'm truly apologize over my influent english. Have a nice day.
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